Harry Potter and The Happy Penguin Cha-Cha
by Mrs. Norris1
Summary: *sniffle*Oh, sorry...it's just that, well, I think this is my best one yet...a literary masterpiece...just R/R, pleeease!!!!!!!


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This is the wonderful new story I have compiled for the lot of you and I hope you enjoy it. Consider it a Holiday treat. R/R, no flames, and remember, all flames WILL be returned as a nice little Christmas presentENJOY!!!!

Happy Penguin Cha-Cha

Once upon a time, Harry, Hermione, and Ron decided to go on a picnic. As they were hopping merrily along, Harry suddenly screamed "Ah! I am stuck in a gopher hole!"

"You idiot. That is not a gopher hole. It is an skgut hole!" a strange voice suddenly shouted.

"Who are you?" asked Hermoine. "And what is a dfkgjh hole?"

"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong!" said the voice. "It's a fkgjh hole, not a dfkgjh hole!"

"WHATEVER!" Ron screamed angrily, but he was then carried off by a rabid pygmy marmoset by the name of Bobo.

Suddenly, there was a **pop** and the owner of the strange voice appeared. It was a ghjtd. 

"See, I should know what a gjhf hole is, seeing that I am a sgjkht!"

Meanwhile, as Hermione and the djshg were bickering, Harry had fallen through the dskgh hole.

He wound up falling into the land of penguins and Bob the magical leper ran to greet him.

"Hello, welcome to the land of penguins, where only penguins dwell. I am Bob the magical leper."

Gilderoy Lockhart strode by, saying, "I am a starfish."

Harry couldn't help notice that there were no penguins in the land of penguins where only penguins dwell.

Harry decided to do some exploring. As he walked through the strange land, he saw llamas betting on the Kentucky Derby, Ron being dragged off to be burned at the stake by a band of rabid pygmy marmosets, a piece of tapdancing cheese, and other everyday sights.

Soon Harry came across a very old-looking tree that promptly introduced himself as Mr. Potato head.

Harry was having quite a lovely chat with Mr. Potato head when some music started playing. It sounded remotely like poka, though Harry discovered soon after that it was merely the war sounds of the rabid pygmy marmosets roasting Ron at the spit.

By now, Harry had become quite bored. The land of penguins was not all it was cracked up to be. He decided to ask a passing rock how to get home.

"Mr Rock, sir? Excuse me?" Harry asked.

The rock looked up. "Call me Elaine," said the rock. "Mr. Elaine."

"Um, Mr. Elaine, how do I get home?" Harry asked with a troubled look.

"That is easy," Mr. Elaine replied. "All you have to do is click your heels together three times and say, there's no place like home,'" he said.

"Really?" asked Harry hopefully.

"No," answered Mr. Elaine "I like cheese."

"Oh," said Harry.

Mr. Elaine walked away and Harry began to cry. He started to fill up the ground with his big fat tears until Bob the magical leper had to come over and tell him to please stop it because he was disturbing the penguins.

But quite suddenly, Harry's prayers were answered by an earthquake (which are quite frequent in the land of penguins). Hermione slid down into the fgkjh hole and Ron was able to escape from the rabid pygmy marmosets. 

"Thank goodness!" said Harry. "Hermione, how do we get home?"

"Why Harry!" she said. "That is quite easy! All we have to do is gather everyone in the land and do the Happy Penguin Cha-Cha!"

And so they set out to gather everyone in the land.

Hermione gathered Bob the Magical Leper, the sfkgjh, the llamas betting on the horse races, some monkeys, all the king's horses, and all the king's men.

Ron gathered the band of rabid pygmy marmosets, Gilderoy Lockhart, Happy Birthday the Hippo, Gigi the Gay house, and all the weasels in the garden.

Harry gathered Mr Potato Head, Elaine, the cheese, and the muffin man who lives down the lane.

The all joined hands in the Sacred Circle of Shabidabbo and Hermione announced "We must chant."

"If you're climbing up a wall and you're feeling something fall" Ron began. Hermione shot him a dirty look and he shut his mouth quickly.

"Not that kind of chant, dimwit. We need a real chant."

"I HAVE A DREAM!" shouted Bobo the rabid pygmy marmoset.

Hermione sighed and said, "Oh fine." And everyone began to chant, "I HAVE A DREAM! I HAVE A DREAM!"

"And now, the Happy Penguin Cha-Cha!" screamed Hermione at the top of her lungs as lightning struck through the sky and the music from the scary scene at the end of _Fantasia_ started to play.

They all formed a conga line, chanting as they went, growing louder and louder and louder and louder and Louder and LOUDER and LOUDER UNTIL

They accidentally blew up the world.

"Oops," said Ron.

"I am a starfish," Lockhart said.

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THE END

Thank you, thank you, thank youand Merry Christmas

~~Mrs. Norris ^^O^^ looky looky mommy, it's holly!


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